There was something simple that saddened me when I listened to a song.  It made me miss somebody for the whole week. It led to maladaptive daydreaming, where I could not focus on work or even get sleep.
Uncontrolled, it felt like a movie theater projector was left on in my head and rolls of film were constantly being fed in. This experience is typical for human beings, yet there is not enough public knowledge about how to manage maladaptive thoughts. It must be understood that negative, reoccurring thoughts will hurt more in the long run.
If Sigmund Freud sat next to me, he would say I miss someone because I am attached to a story. Nothing more and nothing less, just a story about someone. Imagining this conversation with Sigmund, the story behind what made me sad was simple. I dreamt of a future that I had believed I could not live without.
Though memories can bring us joy, they have an entire sideline of mysteries that contribute to mental illness.
Past experiences create episodic memory.  In order for humans to create an imagined future event, such as daydreaming, the brain has to draw in episodic memory in a process in known as constructive-episodic-simulation. This allows humans to propel themselves forward or backwards in subjective time.
Memories are a collection of experiences. Learn to treat memories like stories, but be careful not to ruminate uncontrollably. Rumination is a term in psychology that applies to a repetitive habit of recycling the same message inside your mind. If a negative thought is being ruminated all day, it can lead to stress, anxiety or anger.
Reoccurring thoughts, be it memories, scribbles or songs can be a warning sign of depression. The song deprived me of joy as something crossed my mind and broke my character. Countless humans throughout time have felt the same. By being attached to a story, a person can begin to dwell. Dwelling on the past is cruel.
If those memories turn into stories moving into the future, then we must accept they are not part of reality. It is important to look into ourselves when moments like these happen. We need to be real with ourselves. Why sacrifice joy for an unwanted thought? Harboring maladaptive thoughts can make people believe they are real. A person might even act out on distorted reflections of the situation and accept them as true.  I had to ask myself what that person I missed really meant to me. In the end, it was a list of events that were all based in the future.  It was a story and none of it was real. I was attached to the idea and I alone made myself sad.
Changing a perspective inside your mind is known as cognitive reappraisal. Healthy individuals succeed in reappraisal because they can recognize their emotions. A study in Frontiers in Psychology Emotion Science suggested that when we reappraise a situation, we focus on the tendencies that evoked our negative thoughts and interpret the situation differently. We have to modify our actions by regulating negative emotion, one’s feelings and understand them in a passable way. Only then, by putting negative distractions aside, we can become aware of our emotional experience.
Do not get stuck in a bad thought. No one needs that. Take time to think things through.
In the end, it’s just a story.
