Poetry is outlet for student’s life struggles

When she recites poetry she glows, floating above the surly bonds of the Earth in a place where there is no pain, no poverty, no suffering.  Natona Atkins can create a better world and has the power to share it with others through her evocative command of language.
Atkins, 39, is disabled, unemployed and recently homeless. She knows how to transcend the vagaries of life with the glory of poetry.
Atkins wrote her first poem when she was seven, but said she officially became a poet at 27 when she began to keep her work in journals. When she dreams, she said, the images in her poetry come to life.
“It’s like a thought came to me when I’m asleep, then I wake up and write it out,” she said.
“A lot of the time, I’m able to go back and remember exactly what it was, especially if there is something really profound that heats me deeply while I’m dreaming.”
Atkins said her surroundings inspire her, as do people’s feelings, the environment and personal experiences. Her poetry tends to make her readers very emotional. In some cases she said it makes people feel better because they feel like there is someone else who understand what they are going through and it gives them hope.
“People feel a sense of relief,” she said.
If inspiration comes from pain, Atkins should have plenty. She worked for the Houston Housing Authority, an agency that helped people displaced by Hurricane Ike in October 2009. While working there she suffered a terrible back injury and lost her job. She stayed in her apartment until she could not pay her bills anymore. She was evicted and had nowhere else to go.
“I came to California to fight for my disability because the process was harder in Texas,” she said.
Even as she struggled to find a place to live and slept in her car.
“I have always had a roof over my head,” she said. “Even though it may have been a very small one.
Atkins has sclerosis, an abnormal increase in density and hardening of bone in one of her legs. Her disability is a constant challenge that she has learned to live with.
“Some days are good and I am able to get around and not be in so much pain,” she said. “The bad days I hurt so much that it’s painful for me to move. I just want to sleep so I didn’t have to deal with or feel the pain.”
When she feels like she is in a dark hole of sadness, poetry is her ray of sunlight, she said.
“One of things I always hear is God saying, ‘I will not put more on you that you can bear,’” she said. “Despite the hard things that I may be going through, it is nothing I can’t handle. If I look at my situation, there’s always someone out there who is in a worse situation. That’s when I feel thankful for what I have and I appreciate my life.”
Atkins’ 1995 poem “God’s Final Say” led her to focus more on her poetry.
“I woke up in a cold sweat and there was this poem, words that I just had to write out,” she said. “I didn’t know what I was writing, but I was amazed the next day when I looked at it. I was picturing that poem.”
Atkins’ poems do not have a particular style. She said her poems come naturally. They are not words that she put together just because they rhyme. The words have a purpose behind them, she said, which convey emotion.
Atkins’ favorite poem, “Do you know my pain?” was written when she was struggling to find a job and looking for a place to live. It is a mixture of singing and spokeward. A portion reads:
“Alone I stand fighting my pain/ One would wonder why I haven’t gone insane/ I have been stripped down to nothing and there’s no place I can go/ The only thing I can do is surrender my life let God take control/ I hear have whisper that all my pain will pass/ And that I will put back together like broken glass.”
“When I shared this poem with people, one of their first responses is to cry,” she said. “They thank me for writing it because I understand what they are going through.”
Even though anyone can develop the skill to write poetry, for some it is a gift and she said she feels lucky to be one of those people. Her professors agree.
“While addressing individual passions, dreams as well as social concerns, Natona’s poetry reflects an effective emphasis on rhythm,” said SWC instructor Andrew O’ Clancy. “Her unique perceptions frequently transform scenes of misfortune into sites of celebration, though not always.”
One of Atkins’ poems was published in the Houston Honoring Poetic Society magazine.
Deidra Gibbs, 37, founder and editor of the magazine, said Atkins’ poetry resonates with people.
“Everyone has different ways to motivate themselves, but her empowerment stands out to me,” said Gibbs.
YouTube showcases “Do you know my pain?” and “A Poet in the Dark,” which can be found by searching SymplisaTee.
Atkins said she plans to pursue a career in English. She wants to be a fiction writer and transfer to a four-year university. She has been working on a novel for a year and expects to finish soon.
“In five years, I pray to have at least one play and one book written,” she said.
Even though Atkins does not think she is an example for other people, she said she considers herself an understanding person who cares about other people’s problems rather than being judgmental.
“I just want to be able to put a smile in someone else’s face.”